I am frequently presented with this question. Well, i present it to myself. i have about 2 months left of summer and i have done nothing and i have no idea what i am going to do.
One thing that i want to do beyond anything is to get out of my oppressive house. Being here does not help me to relax. Being here makes me even more stressed than i tend to get at school. And i often wonder why i was so eager to come home. Shouldn't i have learned my lesson already? Nothing is ever the way i expect it. Nothing ever happens the way that i would like for it to happen. Why should coming home be any different? I get my hopes up and they are then dashed. Sliced. Shattered. Dissolved.
Why do i even try anymore? I try not to hate my stepfather. And then something happens and i find myself saying that i hate him. He is the one person that i truly hate. And this hatred is the one obstacle that keeps me from continuing my walk with Christ. I know that i am not supposed to hate anyone. I need to love them. I guess i am just going about it wrong. He is the one person that does things that can get to me.
My intro to theology professor talked about the love of Christ. And how we are called to love everyone, but often find it hard. The thing that we must do is to "hop onto" God's love for a person that we may not like. Or anyone, for that matter.
So i guess i ask for your help. your help in prayer. Pray that i will hop onto God's love for my stepdad. That is the only way that i can love him. And pray that all of these things that he does will not get to me.
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